Stuff that Prof.'s teach

Excerpts from the class lectures of mech. professors

"Consider a 3-D cube..... " (as if a cube had 4 dimensions)
- A certain Design Prof.

"The only difference between an ideal cycle and practical cycle is that an ideal cycle is ideal in nature while a practical cycle is practical in nature"
- IC Engine Prof.

∫Smile

The following is what Focuss remarked on Simla while we were at a recent bday bash--

"Dogra's smile can be integrated as it increases only infinitesimally"

PiQUANT CHESTNUT - III

Last week, students having slogged their ass out for over two years had come over for the IIT-JEE counseling. I started salivating on the mere sight of the plum faced, bespectacled and innocent faces. They seemed easy prey but the only constraint was that I'll have to wait till the start of the session before I could "RAG" them.

In this context, I am reminded of last year's ragging sessions. We called over this freshie, for an "intro" session as we IITians so popularly term it. After the starter course of FAQ's we moved on to the main menu. In the FAQ round, on being asked what 36-24-36 represented he said that they were the dimensions of the new "Fanta Curvy" bottle. We showed him the "DPS RKpuram Scandal" video and inquired of him what the girl was doing in the clip. He replied,"She is eating a chocobar."

P.S :: Do I need to add anything else ?
The guy was aptly named (going by the IITM nomenclature system) FACHO (fanta + chocobar).

PiQUANT CHESTNUT - II

This episode dates back to the time when I was doing my intermediate back in my hometown. We used to have a troop of teachers in Physics each of whom used to take a particular chapter. One of them, Mr. Raj used to be the most liked. Though I must mention that it was not because of his teaching abilities but sorely because of the fact that his classes were a public theater were we had the full freedom to pass comments, laugh, crack jokes on the jester waving his hands around and writing illegible stuff on the blackboard. He probably hailed from a sylvan background as was evident from his slurred English. I remember one incident in particular. It was Teacher's Day. We wished him exclaiming "Happy Teacher's Day" in chorus. He stared at us aimlessly as if he didn't get what the fuss was all about. Out of the blue, as we were heading towards our tables, came the reply -- "Same to you".

PiQUANT CHESTNUT - I

Piquant Chestnut refers to my collection of interesting real life anecdotes covering a multitude of spectrum ranging from one liners to an extended dose of verbal bazookas. Whenever I title any article with the same, you can be rest assured that they are cent percent true(but there may be added sprinkling of salt and pepper to make up for my lack of scribbling potential), save for the names of the protagonist.

The first one is dedicate to a very close friend of mine. Lets call him "Grecoe" from now onwards for no reason in particular . He deserves a name because I am sure he is making the most number of appearances in this section. Now Grecoe, was crashing(sleeping) in the middle of an ongoing lecture of ID 110(duh... who didn't) and to his misfortune our hostel warden, DJ was the invigilator. He patted on Grecoe's back to wake him up; Grecoe did wake up but he just stared blankly at the Prof. and again crashed !!!(lolz) The Prof. followed the pat with a much sterner tap the next time around. Grecoe did wake up this time but the conversation that followed is a classic.
Grecoe (even before being asked anything) : Just came
DJ : What !
Grecoe : No sir, just came.
DJ : Who just came?
You just came?
Grecoe : No Sir ... Sleep just came.

P.S : If you did not get the humour in it, get back to ENG 101.


Now for a masterpiece. We entered the fourth semester aware that a certain a Elec. Prof. was to take a 2 credit course. The previous year he had turned the two credit course into a five hour one. So we were all in a state of fear of what he was to do this year. By God's grace it ended up as a two credit course thanks to some heated ego clashes[kept under the wraps] between the Mech department[goshh.... Mech deptt. and ego] and the Elec. department about the importance of the very course. This certainly didn't please the Prof. concerned and his agitation was evident. To show the worth of the course (read retaliate) he announced --
"In the present context, I will only be taking you from one level of ignorance to another."