WHAT A GAME !!!


WOLF is addictive... very very addictive.
Last night ... on the eve of the 61st Independence day of India we put a night-out. We played some 3 games spread over a span of 7 hours - (11:30 p.m to 6:30 p.m) before we moved onto Taramani for our morning coffee accompanied by King's.
There is one particular game I wish to talk about. It was the last game of the night. We had some 14 members playing the game - Me, Chittad, Paplu, Pappey, Saffy, DPS, Shortage, Rahul, Manish, Asif(who had celebrated his Independence day a day before), CHB, Sashi, Randi and Nikhil.

We played with 4 wolves[Me, Rahul, Manish and Nikhil], 1 rogue, 1 cop, 1 doc and 1 priest [For the uninitiated - the priest can revive a dead man.... but he can use this power only once].

Night 1 - Wolves kill Chittad. Reason - He thinks too much. And them he did not seem quite interested in the game. Pappey [being the most dangerous] was not killed hoping that this point would go against him. Wolves generally kill Pappey in the first round itself knowing that if he is a villager he can be a real trouble maker.
[I am talking about the game from my point of view and such not revealing the details concerning the doc, rogue,cop and priest .. lest they act as spoilers]
Day 1 - Paplu comes out vehemently against me. Knowing Paplu quite well, I got the feeling that he was the police and he knew my identity. I was almost on the verge of giving up but suddenly Saffy springs up from no where against Manish. Saffy 's reaction was so very convincing that Manish thought Saffy to be the police. Both me and Manish were in a quandary as to who the real police was as to who should go out. Then out of the blue Saffy reveals to the village that I was a villager and he was sure of it [though he did not mention how or why]. On hearing this I thought that Saffy was a rogue or something and I started gathering forces against Manish. That meant Manish(a wolf) was killed. All the wolves voted against Manish going with the herd.

Night 2 - Now that I was sure Paplu was a Cop.. we killed him off.
Day 2 - Some newbies bring the accusation against me saying that I was the wolf since I was the only one who could have killed Paplu as he was against me in the previous round. Pappey jumps to my support saying that I was no novice and would never do that as I very well know that this would be the most fruitful argument against me. He comes up with the idea that someone was doing this to frame me. Now when all doubt over me had been cleared.......... I made a horrendous error [a bulb that bad that I am ashamed to put it] and Pappey caught me off guard..... I was killed. Two wolves dead.

Night 3- Remaining two wolves take the decision that should have been taken much earlier - to kill the dangerous Pappey. As I was outside the game now... I saw that there was no police. Paplu was the real police and we were right in killing him. Doc(CHB) saved himself. Rogue(DPS) did not make his kill.
Day 4 - Nikhil at once comes out with the accusation that Sashi was the rogue saying that he had heard him twist an turn during the night when the Rogue's name was called out. Surprisingly, no one took this much seriously. This round was marked by multiple parallel conversations and no conclusion seemed in sight. Nikhil ... to my shock and to the other wolf's[Rahul] shock revealed to the village that he was the police. Most of the villagers accepted this to be true as no one else came out[Paplu, the real police was already dead] and Nikhil said that he had found out Shortage's, CHB's and Asif's identity. [the villagers never took into consideration the fact that the Wolf knows who all are villagers!]. Asif came out in the open saying that he was the Priest which further convinced people that Nikhil was the cop. The villager first agree that the Priest would revive Pappey. With no surety about anyone's identity, the village decides to kill DPS, the most silent villager. Even the wolves vote against him.[He had never suggested anything close to being a Rogue which would have swayed the wolves. Villagers ask Nikhil, the assumed Cop to find out Rahul's identity[as he had supported me in the previous rounds] and the Doc to save the cop.

Night 5 - Asif, the priest revives Pappey. Wolves kill Asif.[I don't know why!]. Doc saves himself[selfish!]. Rahul waves his hand like a magicians wand during the wolf kill while pointing out Asif. His loose bracelet was a dead give away.
Day 5- Pappey enters the game and proclaims that Nikhil can't be cop for sure for he saw him bulbing. He starts with his typical Pappey-ish style not giving anyone else a chance to talk. This actually gives Nikhil a chance to reconsider his original decision to announce Rahul to be a villager. Nikhil decides to announce Rahul to be a wolf. The delay in his announcement is justified by the fact that Pappey did not give him a chance to talk. With most of the villagers still convinced by Nikhil, they decide to kill Rahul and when he turns out to be wolf everyone including Pappey consider Nikhil to be the cop. They ask Nikhil to find out Randi's identity and the Doc(who has revealed himself by now) to save the cop.

Night 6 - Nikhil kills CHB(thinking that the Doc will save the cop and not himself). Doc saves himslef.[shrewdness or selfishness?]
Day 6- Nikhil reveals that Randi was a villager. Of the remaining, identities of Saffy and Sashi was not known. So the villagers decide to kill the more dangerous Saffy as Sashi was new to the game and he couldn't have kept his cool for so long. Villagers ask Nikhil to find out Sashi's identity.
P.S : Everyone had assumed that Pappey was a villager since he was killed in the night.

Night 7 -Nikhil kills CHB again, sure that there was a low probability that the Doc would save himself again. Doc saves himslef again (!!)
Day 7- Nikhil comes out in the open saying that Sashi was a villager. He virtually gave it up. He later admitted that he was under so much pressure that his mind could not continue further.
Villagers still not sure that Nikhil was not a wolf, decide to kill as everyone else had been proved to be a villager by Nikhil.
Villagers remaining - Pappey, Shortage, Randi, CHB and Sashi.
VILLAGERS WIN!!

Did he have a way out???
I can think two ways by which he could have extended the game further.[though not won it]
1. He should have told that Sashi was a wolf. Kill him in the day. And kill someone in the night. But even then it would have been 3-1 in the day and there was no way he could escape.
2. Pappey's identity was never revealed. He could have generated a hypothesis that Pappey was a wolf who was killed in the night by the rogue. And the priest probably made a mistake by getting him into the game. So instead of finding out Sashi's identity he could have come out with the fact that Pappey was villager. But then villagers would have killed Sashi.... then again 3-1 in the day.
**It would have helped if his last two kills in the night were successful. The game quite well have been over by now with a Wolves Victory.

Any other possible outcomes?

@ RELIANCE

Back in IITM, I did not have a choice. And then after ITC and Schlumberger, Reliance was supposed to be a Mech guy’s best bet. Even if it wasn’t, we (atleast me) did not have the temerity to wait for GE (with all the infinite rumors that the PR’s and the Class rep were spreading) knowing fully well that if it didn’t make it I might well land up at a sugarcane crushing factory or a rice milling center or who knows may be even a fishing outlet. Fortunately or unfortunately I made it. Unlike many for whom it would have been a matter of celebration, for the IITM Mech junta it was a sigh of relief – lucky enough to escape the wrath of someone whose name had everything from SHUNning to MUGging to HAMming

The experience here has been awful to say the least. Reliance is supposed to be a FORTUNE 500 company; India’s largest Petrochemical manufacturer; owned by the world’s 3^rd richest and what not. But once inside the complex you see the real stuff. Nothing truly belongs to Reliance. They just own it. Every single equipment has been outsourced. You can very well call it a SHELL or DUPONT plant and yet not be very far from the truth. There is no RnD. Fuck! These people even buy off RnD from Shell. All that these people have to show for RnD is a bicameral air-conditioned building with infinite computers with no one to use them. All that these people do is maintenance- make sure that Shell, Dupont,Tata and what not machines are in working order. Follow up the troubleshooting manual and incase it does not work out call up the respective companies to send their installation engineers. People in top posts are “Diploma” holders. Part of my intern is actually solving the assignments and home tests for one of the Diploma holders who is appearing for a correspondence B.Tech degree( ! ! ! ) to make sure that his growth is not stalled. And then there are the engineers. They spend all their time playing pocket tanks. They land up here at 9 – wait till 9:30 for the breakfast – play pocket tanks- tea at 11:15 – play pocket tanks - wait for lunch – lunch – play pocket tanks – play more pocket tanks – have tea at 3:15 – play pocket tanks till 4 – start getting ready for the bus that leaves at 5:45 pm.

And then we (MECH junta) have been assigned projects that are nothing more than CUT-COPY-PASTE. The mentors (probably the only knowledgeable guys around) are very busy. One of them spends most of his time at the Shell plant in Amsterdam; another has been on a holiday tour to the US for more than two weeks while another even fails to recognize the student working under him. These guys are really good but my only issue is the mindless objective of assigning them a student when they already have infinite prior engagements. Its not only been the case with the Mechanical Section but even the Meta trainees are undergoing the same.

But the only saving grace have been the Chem. guys. From whatever I have heard and the little I understand they have been allotted projects that are not mere hoodwinkers. Ganesh is actually working on something that might lead to profits in excess of 1crore. And then their mentors actually devote sufficient time to the student projects. May be I am biased that I am overlooking all these factors. Reliance is at the end of the day a chemical industry and as such the major thrust should ideally been on them. And then it is not into design – so the mechanical sector ultimately boils down to maintenance and servicing. From this perspective I believe that this internship is certainly not for people who want to patent the next big mechanical invention but who just wish to make sure that official stand of 2 credits is completed.

PJ CARNIVAL

I am back after a long hiatus. The break was not intentional nor was it forced upon me because of a packed schedule. Its just that I am, as Oscar Wilde would say motivationally challenged(read lazy).
But all my motivation is back thanks to the PJ Carnival we had last night. It started of as a Booze party but with the likes of Pinkee, Pappey and Rahul's new incarnation it turned into a PJ carnival with each one trying to out do the other.

Pinkee - Randi baarish mein kounsa shot khelte hai?
Answer - Cover Drive
FUNDA - When it rains, you want covers on the ground!!

Pappey - Randi baarish khatam hone ke baad kounsa shot khelta hai?
Answer - Pull Shot
FUNDA - When it has stopped raining you have to 'pull' the covers off!
***********************************************************************

Pinkee - Agar Pappey Beer mangta hai to Beer, Pappey se kya mangega?
Answer - Honey
FUNDA - Pappey likes beer and beer (bear) likes honey!

***********************************************************************
Rahul - Agar tum Pappey ko PJ marne ko bolege to woh kya karega?
Answer - Pappey will jump upwards.
FUNDA - Pappey will jump as he will then have velocity(v) in upward direction(j). So he has momentum (P) as his has both mass and velocity and it is in upward direction( y direction ~ j direction). So Pappey has now put a P ĵ.

************************************************************************

Pattrow - Manish jab chicken khata hai junglee ban jata hai.
Saffy - Manish sachi mein pura wildly behave karta hai agar uske aage chicken padi hai.
Manish - Mein koi junglee ki tarah behave nahi karta.....

Pappey - Eggjactly, Chhotu (Pappey calls Manish, Chhotu affectionately) is not wild, Chhotu is not junglee, Chhotu is Mansih. :D

*************************************************************************

Pappey - Agar Chhotu, Chhotu hai to usko chicken ka kounsa item pasand hai.
Answer - Since Chhotu is chhotu, woh sirf CERELAC flavoured chicken khata hai.

*************************************************************************
PJ IN ACTION
This anecdote was narrated by Shaggy

Venue - Electrical Workshop
First Year

The question was to set up a circuit to light a tubelight. Aunty puts hazaar fight, mugs, cogs from notes and cogs from neighbouring students but somehow manages to set up the complete circuit. The circuit seems perfect but the tubelight does not seem to glow. Worried and confused he takes the system to the workshop instructor. The instructor himself starts to BULB. the circuit is perfect but the tubelight does not seem to glow. The instructor fiddles a bit with the starter, re aligns the circuit elements but to no avail. He reads the manuals again and sets the circuit himself but all in vain.
Its only after more than forty minutes that both realize that there is no tubelight to glow. Aunty had forgotten to connect the tubelight. !!!!! :D

*************************************************************************

There were a lot more but cant remember them all. Next time around I drink around with Pinkee and Pappey (and Rahul these days too) i'll carry a tape recorder to make sure that not a single PJ is missed.

IPL: TEAM QUOTIENT

KOLKATTA

A bird in hand is not worth even four in the bush..

Sourav Ganguly (icon), Shoaib Akhtar (US$425,000), Ricky Ponting (US$400,000), Brendon McCullum (US$700,000), Chris Gayle (US$800,000), Ajit Agarkar (US$330,000), David Hussey (US$675,000), Ishant Sharma (US$950,000), Murali Kartik (US$425,000), Umar Gul (US$150,000), Tatenda Taibu (US$125,000)

PRIZE CATCH – Umar Gul. At just 60 lacs it’s a super bargain. He was by far the fast bowler on show at the T20 World Cup. He is one of those rare bowlers who can bowl toe crushing yorkers on a constant basis.

SHOCKER – Ishant Sharma for 4 crores. All that glitters is not gold. Bowling on bowler friendly wickets in Australia with 7 fielders around the bat is vastly different from doing so on dust bowls.

David Hussey. I thought his brother had a Bradmanesque batting average.

+ ive Experienced batting lineup in Ganguly, Gayle and Ponting.

- ive Who’ll bowl? Shoaib and Gul spend more time in the hospital than they do on field. Agarkar is like a balloon. Might burst anytime. Ishant Sharma is still a baby.

IN SHORT On paper they have the most balanced team with the perfect blend of youth and experience provided they are fit and free to take part in the event. You are never sure about the fitness of Akhtar and Gul while Hussey an Ponting may not free to take part.

HYDEREBAD

Slog Slog Bang Bang

Adam Gilchrist (US$700,000), Andrew Symonds (US$1.35 million), Herschelle Gibbs (US$575,000), Shahid Afridi (US$675,000), Scott Styris (US$175,000), VVS Laxman (US$375,000), Rohit Sharma (US$750,000), Chamara Silva (US$100,000), RP Singh (US$875,000), Chaminda Vaas (US$200,000), Nuwan Zoysa (US$110,000)

PRIZE CATCH – Scott Styris. Probably the most underrated player in World Cricket especially when it comes to the shorter versions of the game. He can slog, he can hold one end up and more importantly he can stifle one end up with his variety of medium pace bowling.

SHOCKER – Rohit Sharma for 3 crores. You must be joking!!

+ ive With Andrew Symonds and Herschelle Gibbs you have the world’s two of the best fielders. And then Rohit Sharma and Shahid Afridi are probably the best from their nations.

- ive One dimensional bowling attack with 3 very similar left arm swing bowlers.

IN SHORT In Shahid Khan Afridi, Andrew Symonds, Herschelle Gibbs and Adam Gilchrist you have the four of the biggest hitters in the game of cricket. Get ready for some serious fireworks with the short boundaries in India.

BANGALORE ROYAL CHALLENGERS

“Get Well Soon : Prepared to face a nuclear attack with a bullet proof vest

Rahul Dravid (icon), Anil Kumble (US$500,000), Jacques Kallis (US$900,000), Zaheer Khan (US$450,000), Mark Boucher (US$450,000), Cameron White (US$500,000), Wasim Jaffer (US$150,000), Dale Steyn (US$325,000), Nathan Bracken (US$325,000), Shivnarine Chanderpaul (US$200,000)

PRIZE CATCH – Dale Steyn. He is as most former South African’s believe the true heir to Allan Donald’s legacy. Not very cheap but certainly do-able.

SHOCKER – Cameron WHO White? I thought he played Golf!!

+ ive Excellent bowling lineup with the most variety. You have someone with the raw pace of Steyn aided by the swing of Zaheer and accuracy of Bracken. By the way you have a 38 something Kumble aswell.

- ive Wasim Jaffer, Rahul Dravid, Jacques Kallis, Chanderpaul.. Dude, you are not playing a 5 day test… You might take a short nap while they are batting and still not miss much action. Seems they are taking “Gandhigiri” just a bit too seriously; a totally non violent approach to batting.

IN SHORT The most experienced team on paper though it is to be seen if their experience in the longer versions of the game can translate into the T20 format.

MUMBAI

The pendulum swinging between its extremes.

Sachin Tendulkar (icon), Sanath Jayasuriya (US$975,000), Harbhajan Singh (US$850,000), Shaun Pollock (US$550,000), Robin Uthappa (US$800,000), Lasith Malinga (US$350,000), Dilhara Fernando (US$150,000), Loots Bosman (US$175,000)

PRIZE CATCH – Loots Bosman. He is very highly rated in his home country in South Africa. A T20 specialist, he certainly can clobber the ball a mile. He might just turn out to be the surprise hit.

SHOCKER – Robin Uthappa for 3.6 crores. You can’t be serious. All that he has to show for himself in the two seasons that he has played is one innings against England.

+ ive Sachin Tendulkar and Sanath Jayasuriya opening the innings is any opposition captains nightmare. They may be past their prime but still are good enough to give tremors to new ball bowlers as they have nothing to loose. And then they have the world’s most economical bowler in Shaun Pollock.

- ive No wicket keeper as of now. Unless they get a Haddin or a Matt Prior they might just have to do with a domestic keeper. It doesn’t look that rosy with the top 3 Indian keepers already sold out.

IN SHORT It’s a very strange team combination. You have grandfathers like Tendulkar, Pollock and Jayasuriya on one hand and then lollypop babies like Bosman, Utthappa and Malinga on the other. You have members from the X Gen and V Gen. Just get a feeling they might rue missing out on the W Gen.

DELHI DAREDEVILS

Little drops make an ocean.

Virender Sehwag (icon), Daniel Vettori (US$625,000), Shoaib Malik (US$500,000), Mohammad Asif (US$650,000), AB de Villiers (US$300,000), Dinesh Karthik (US$525,000), Farveez Maharoof (US$225,000), Tillakaratne Dilshan (US$250,000), Manoj Tiwary (US$675,000), Gautam Gambhir (US$725,000), Glenn McGrath (US$350,000)

PRIZE CATCH – AB De Villiers. It’s a steal. At 1.2 crores you are getting South Africa’s future captain. And then his ability to keep will also let the team field an extra bowler or batsman.

SHOCKER – Manoj Tiwary for 2.7 crores. He’s played just one international that too for a duck.

+ ive In Mohammed Asif, Mc Grath and Vettori you have the most economical bowlers in the fray. Add to that the fielding prowess of Dilshan, Tiwary, Karthick and De Villiers. A very difficult team to score against.

- ive The batting does not inspire much confidence. No fire power; no star power. The team might even struggle to attract sponsors in the tune that most others teams would.

IN SHORT It’s the bowlers who will have to job. The batting though might just surprise a few people. The team reminds one of NewZealand at the international level – not too many stars but still a very competitive outfit. But you need a very inspirational captain who leads from the front.

CHENNAI SUPER KINGS

Dhoom Machale Dhoom Machale

Mahendra Singh Dhoni (US$1.5 million), Muttiah Muralitharan (US$600,000), Matthew Hayden (US$375,000), Jacob Oram (US$675,000), Stephen Fleming (US$350,000), Parthiv Patel (US$325,000), Joginder Sharma (US$225,000), Albie Morkel (US$675,000), Suresh Raina (US$650,000), Makhaya Ntini (US$200,000), Michael Hussey (US$350,000)

PRIZE CATCH – Stephen Fleming. The world’s best captain will be a perfect ally to the shrewd Dhoni. And he is the best person to give stability to the fragile looking middle order.

SHOCKER – ?

+ ive MS Dhoni. Captain courageous, capable of ripping the leather of the bowl aswell as holding one end up.

- ive MS Dhoni. Too costly.

IN SHORT All’s well as long as Dhoom does not turn into Doom.

JAIPUR

Too many cooks spoil the broth

Shane Warne (US$450,000), Graeme Smith (US$475,000), Younis Khan (US$225,000), Kamran Akmal (US$150,000), Yusuf Pathan (US$475,000), Mohammad Kaif (US$675,000), Munaf Patel (US$275,000), Justin Langer (US$200,000)

PRIZE CATCH – Kamran Akmal. He may not be in the best of forms but he still rates among the top 5 wicket keeper batsmen of his generation.

SHOCKER – Kaif. The price tag is too much for a player who can’t get the ball of the square. T20 isnt just about sprinting between wickets.

+ ive Graeme Smith is certainly one of the best captains doing the rounds. And most believe Warne was the true heir to Waugh till sleazy SMS’ did him in while Younis Khan preferred not to. And with Greg Chappell too around be rest assured that the best strategies would have their source here lest too many cooks spoil the broth.

- ive With Warne, Langer and Munaf Patel on the field don’t surprised if you see two’s turning into four’s and may be even five’s.

IN SHORT No comments.

MOHALI

History to repeat itself

Yuvraj Singh (icon), Mahela Jayawardene (US$475,000), Kumar Sangakkara (US$700,000), Brett Lee (US$900,000), Sreesanth (US$625,000), Irfan Pathan (US$925,000), Ramesh Powar (US$170,000), Piyush Chawla (US$400,000), Simon Katich (US$200,000), Ramnaresh Sarwan (US$225,000)

PRIZE CATCH – ?

SHOCKER – ?

Pretty balanced selections without any outright cockeyed selection.

+ ive With Moody at the helm, the 2007 WC success story might just repeat with Sangakkara and Jayawardena too in the team.

- ive With just Yuvraj, they are desperately falling short of some who get the ball out of the park. And if Brett Lee is missing the inexperience in the bowling department may hurt real bad.

IN SHORT Pretty balanced on the whole but the bowling holds the key. If Lee and Sreesanth are able to rip through the top order then the inexperienced spinners might be able to hold their own. And with Lee and Sreesanth sharing the new ball, batsmen be prepared to deal with sledging or as Aussies term it “mental disintegration”.

Rain Drops Down the Melody Lane

Brushed away did I that look at first glance
For I doth not believe in love at first sight;
Her whites, all wet, seduced me into a trance.
As the skies wept, dreamt I none but her all night.

Wet, sanguine and all black
Swayed I from my track
At her feet, did I bend and whispered , 'Shall we dance?'
Rain drops down the melody lane
Across the dark firmament, lightning did strike again
Accepted my plea, did she, with a placid display of romance.

An assassin's smile
Flowing robes, all black and all long.
Lustrous, silver plated earrings, carved by the phyle.
Ogled I to the fullest............................................


P.S - Dedicated to that someone special in my life

SAARANG UNQUOTED

" जब "ट" से कोई गाना ख़त्म नही होता, तो "ट" से कोई गाना शुरू कैसे हो सकता है !! "
-- Antakshari Coord on being asked to sing a song starting with "ट"

" Sumedh Samant और Kuldeep Nigam देहाती हैं ! ....................................... "
-- Punchar

" Well ...
We need more time.... " -- Hot chicks to Punchar on being asked for the dance workshop

" If you have any queries, come over here"
-- Punchar, sitting inside the Hospi desk, to a group of hot chicks inquiring about the day's proceedings from a hospi vol. The group eventually move around the hospi platform and get their doubts cleared from Punchar inside the Hospi desk.

" Ek Reddy ne pure wing ka ch***ya kaat diya "
-- Chittad Singh after CHB lures him into shelling out grub coupons worth Rs. 300(originally meant for our wing) to gratify his dance partner for Salsa, who herself was getting was grub coupons worth Rs. 300 as a volunteer.

" Now I know why I didn't clear IIT-JEE"
-- Non-IITian chick's comment at the Queen Of Sheeba event. On being asked as to how they cracked the Schroder Series problem(as it was not Google-able. Google led you to some vague article on divergent analytical functions published in 1942 by Carl Siegel), the Narmad team of SDK, Gully and Raj responded with
-- "We got the generating function of the Schroeder Series from Siegel's article and wrote a C program to evaluate it. We debugged and compiled it and ran it on Turbo C to generate the infinite series. The 9th term turns out to be 14586 ... "

"Come here and press 4"
-- A female Hospi Coord to her vol with her left hand on Alt and right hand on F when a co-coord asked her to press Alt+F4 to close the window she was working on.


" It was an "Anagram Fest" " -- Fockkus @ WTGW prelims.

"Pinkee (Hospi Core) सुट्टे के लिए भूका भी मर सकता है " -- Homework, after Pinkee gives all his grub coupons in exchange for Fags.

" Seems the coords are themselves planning a homicide. They are just arranging for a plebiscite to determine their modus operandi " -- A participant from NIT, Trichy on seeing the CLUEDO prelims question paper which had 5 murder mysteries.

LES PROPHETIES

I am no Nostradamus, but here I have made a sincere attempt with a closed mind enveloped by an exaggerated sense of sarcasm to predict the fortunes (read misfortunes) of Team India and the BCCI in the year to follow.


Quarantine II -- FEBRUARY/MARCH

• Sourav Ganguly injected back into the ODI team after the CPI (M) threaten to withdraw support from the central government.
• Sreesanth is a hit with the Australian media. After displaying his dancing skills to Andre Nel and tabla skills to Mathew Hayden in the past he displays his vocal talent Andrew Symonds.
• Yuvraj Singh backs out of the tour citing personal reasons.
• After Harbhajan Singh, Sreesanth gets into trouble for racially abusing Symonds during the ODI series.
• BCCI threaten to boycott the tour.
• Tour continues after apologies from Cricket Australia. Further, BCCI file a writ against Symonds for public defamation (of Sreesanth) in the Supreme Court of India and team India is given a bye to the tri-nation finals.
• The ICC all this while remains a mute spectator not being able to go against the richest cricket board in the world.
• India lose the finals as Sachin Tendulkar fails again in the finals but wins the man of the series award by virtue of the three 90+ scores he made in the leagues.
• India receive heroes welcome after a successful tour of Australia where they won just one test and a couple of one-dayers.

Quarantine III -- APRIL/MAY

• Leaked Email from M S Dhoni to the BCCI President reveals that Yuvraj Singh backed out of the tour to go on a holiday with Deepika Padukone to NewZealand.
• Yuvraj Singh goes public with his version of the story saying that he did go to NewZealand but argues that it was mere coincidence that Deepika Padukone had her shooting there. The real reason according to him was that he was being used by the NewZealand Cricket Board as a mediator to convince Shane Bond to leave ICL. He further adds that Dhoni was a loser and created this issue because he was jealous of his relationship with Deepika Padukone.
• NewZealand Cricket Board deny any such arrangements though Shane Bond makes a contradictory statement that Yuvraj Singh had in fact met him in March.
• In between all this, Gary Kirsten rejects the contract by the BCCI saying Indian summers are too hot and not conducive to his methodology of coaching.
• BCCI go in search of a new coach.

Quarantine IV – JUNE/JULY

• In a bid to take advantage of the publicity generated and increase TRP for his show, Shahrukh invites the trio, (Deepika, Dhoni and Yuvraj) to KBC. The trio win 50 lacs inspite of the acrimony between Yuvraj and Dhoni.
• Rumour mills go abuzz with the news that Yuvraj and Deepika get engaged in a private ceremony. Both vehemently deny the allegations stating that they are just “good friends”
• Irfan Pathan spotted cheering for Sania Mirza at the Wimbledon.
• BCCI announces the names of applicants for the post of coach. The list includes former cricketers Wasim Akram and Steve Waugh as well as leading personalities like management guru Laloo Prasad Yadav, technocrat Prof MS Shanmugham (HOD, Mech – IITM), Vijay Mallya and cricket expert Sumedh Yateen Samant.
• The Pakistani Government brand Wasim Akram a traitor for applying for the post of coach of the Indian Cricket team. The Al-Qaeda release fatwa against Wasim Akram for savoring relationship with an US friendly nation.
• MS Dhoni attempts suicide. Admitted to ICU. Suicide note reveals it was due to the stress of excessive cricket. BCCI revises cricket calendar to reduce work load. Conspiracy theorists argue that it was because of “love lost”.
• IPL postponed to 2009 due to crammed cricket calendar.
• With Dhoni hospitalized and Yuvraj finding disfavour with the selection committee for his wayward ways, Irfan Pathan is appointed captain of the Indian ODI team for the upcoming series against Australia.

Quarantine V – AUGUST/SEPTEMBER/OCTOBER

• Team for Australia series declared. No surprises but for Dhoni and Yuvraj’s absence. Team to play without a coach.
• India thrash Australia 3-0 on minefields of pitches doctored to suit Indian spinners. Anil Kumble and Harbhajan take 21 wickets each in the series while Tendulkar takes 12 bowling his part time leg spinners. The man of the series award goes to Australian left arm spinner Michael Clarke for taking 28 wickets in the series.
• Harbhajan dismisses Ricky Ponting in 5 of the 6 innings.
• Dravid and Ganguly announce retirement. Tendulkar says he still feels young and is ready to play as a third spinner after experts criticize his poor batting form.
• CPI (M) and Trinamool Congress demand Bharat Ratna for Ganguly.

Quarantine V – NOVEMBER/DECEMBER

• Mahesh Bhatt’s movie “HAWAS – the only passion” starring Shoaib Akhtar releases to packed theatres through out India on Diwali. It firmly establishes Shoaib Akhtar as the new “SERIAL F***ER” of Bollywood. The movie bombs despite the superb opening; but it opens new avenues for Pakistani cricketers. Reports reveal that Inzamam Ul Haq has been offered the role of Kajol’s father in KJo’s next while Misbah is set to play a bulbing sycophant in a RGV movie.
• BCCI appoint Ganguly and Dravid as the ODI and Test batting coaches respectively. They join the team of Robin Singh (fielding) and Venkatesh Prasad (bowling) and manager Lalchand Rajput.

• India thrash South Africa on slow dirty dust bowls engineered to suit the Indian spin trio of Kumble, Harbhajan and Tendulkar who share four fifths of all the wickets among them.

P.S :: Additional predictions are welcome.

A MATCHSTICK THAT FAILED TO LIGHT

Insomniac behavior in the hour of the witch:
Woke up, did I to give company to the nocturnal.
Nor reason, nor rationale not even an intuitive hitch
Had an overpowering compulsive need to get the ash feel.

A sudden urge to witness the amber ends of a fag,
A sudden thirst to inhale the vapours: gray, dusky and slick.
A passion that whizzed past the statutory tag,
An appetite that even sleep couldn’t trick.

But failed I, to find my fag an accomplice.
Ruffled through the pile of paper junk: Scanned the overflowing wooden drawers
Even tried to let go of my whimsical caprice.
Consumed my spines twice over, let go of the wet dreams
But I did finally find: twisted, moist but nevertheless an ally
A matchstick to execute my passion, a matchstick to set my fag ablaze.

Alas, the fag found itself ditched
Left in the lurch by the perfidious match that failed to light.
A fag ditched, an impulsive passion unfulfilled
As Senor Sleep took command for the rest of the night.

EKLAVYA : India's Official Entry to the Oscars !!

WDF ! These were the first words that struck me once I read the bulletin on the web. I was shocked to say the least. I banged my fist on the lectern and gave a huge grin at the adjoining pic of Vindhu Vinod Chopra.

It was one of those rare movies that we had gone for.[and I sincerely regret having gone for it]. With DVD ripped movies landing up on LAN within a week of their release, going to the theater and spending 200 bucks seems really far-fetched. It was not the last time. We repeated the blunder with 'TaRa Rum Pum'. From the little that I remember about the script, it had none. I still educe the fact that I spent the whole movie waiting for something to happen. It started with the revelation of propinquitous relationship between the queen and her guard and it ended with the guard defying ethics to put love ahead of his obligations. In between, we had the foreign returned prince doting on a poor girl ( surprising?), a perverse impotent king, and some excellent cinematography. That was it. Cinematography was the only thing that stood out. But do you select films to represent your country on the basis of "cinematography'"? Certainly NO. We had walked into the theater with loads of expectations - it was VVC's first movie since Mission Kashmir, he had spent over five years writing the script and the star cast boasted of AB, Saif Ali Khan, Boman Irani and Sharmila Tagore. I am no film critic but this movie certainly did not get my pulses racing nor did it cause an emotional stir somewhere within. This movie 'cupped' royally at the box office. I am not very sure if the critics rated that highly. From the little that I observed, Guru and Chak De got better reviews and yet..... I am not into regional cinema. There would obviously be some that must have stood out. I am sure that there would have been many that would have outweighed Eklavya in every other department excluding cinematography. It is not surprising that issues are being raised against its selections. An affidavit has already been filed. Movies like Dharm, Guru and Chak De were certainly better when it came to script. Better by a long way......................

G Talk STATUS MESSAGE

Here’s a collection of some of the best status messages that I have been a testimony to

"Mallu's have Onam, Tams have Pongal : Gults have ELECTION :D"
Courtesy - Cheenti
Note: The occasion was as you would have guessed it by now, the Insti Elections

"http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=umVY0QHLDUw"
Courtesy - Psaffy

"The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it. - OW "
"Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much. - OW"
"The world is a stage, but the play is badly cast. - OW"
"I never put off till tomorrow what I can do the day after.- OW"
Courtesy - Yours Truly

"There is nothing called a committed man. If you want one, search in a mental asylum"
Courtesy - Mitasha

"How happy is the blameless vestal's lot ...The world forgetting by the world forgot...Eternal sunshine of a spotless mind......Each prayer accepted n each wish resigned"
Courtesy - Randy

THIS IS MY FAVOURITE

"Marriages are made in heaven : So are thunder and lightning"
Courtesy - Mitasha

And now, for some of the worst ones

“Why did Misbah play the last ball straight to Sreesanth? Perhaps he didn’t know that there's a mallu in every corner of the world!! :D”
Courtesy – Cheenti
Note: PJ maxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Everyone is beautiful to someone" [ it had been there for the past three semesters ! ]
Courtesy - Dhruv(jussu)
Note: I suppose most people would agree on that :D

"PDND" [with the green availaible tag on]
Courtesy - Sumedh Vidwans

P.S : All opinions expressed are mine and it should be assumed that they have been expressed in good humour

RENDEZVOUS @ 5:30 pm Monday, Sept 24
11 REASONS WHY YOU SHOULD NOT MISS THE INDIA-PAK T20 FINAL

1. India have never lost a World Cup match to Pakistan

2. Its INDIA minus Tendulkar, Dravid, Ganguly and Zaheer VS PAK minus Inzy, Yousuf, Shoaib and Razzaq

3. No more Sachin vs Wasim ... No more Dravid vs Shoaib... its the time for raw fresh talents to battle it out in the African Safari's. We have
Yuvraj Singh vs Mohd. Asif
Shahid Afridi vs Irfan Pathan

4. Both teams walk in even-stevens. No psychological advantage for either with the previous match between the two having ended in a tie... (I personally believe bowl-out is a lot of shit. Its no better than the previous system which relied on the toss of a coin to determine winners in knock out matches)

5. The battle for the longest six is still on. With a 12 hitter in form of Afridi (still to get going batting wise) you never know.

6. Shrewd Shoaib(Malik) one on one against Daring Dhoni. It certainly takes courage to back a nominally experienced Joginder Sharma over Agarkar(with experience of nearly 200 ODI's) and even more hardihood to ask him to bowl the last over when his previous two have gone for over 30. On the other hand Malik's shrewdness has reserved a new ball bowler in Umar Gul to bowl 4th change and finish of the innings with toe crushing yorkers.

7. A very special item number by who else - Sreesanth. Kathakali, tabla on the cricket pitch and his "Jheel Si Gehri Aankhen" staring at the batsmen.. He will have it all for the opposition and the cheering Indian contingent back at the stadium and those glued to the TV sets back home. There is a also a guest appearance by a certain wrong footed, Lagaan style bowler in Sohail Tanvir who will demonstrate his dyslexic bowling action.

8. An opportunity to watch a lot more of Indian, Pakistani and South African babes. :D

9. India vs Pakistan ... World Cup Final. Do you want anything more ? ? Get hold of it.The next time you witness anything similar, you would probably be 70 and nursing yourself for cardiac arrest.

And... ohh I forgot

10. The match is being played at the Wanderers, Johannesburg which also witnessed the record ODI chase of 434 by South Africa against Australia.

and to end it,

11. India is gonna rape Pakistan. CHAK DE! INDIA

Why the battle of Wanderers will be so special

Atul Sondhi /Cricketnext.com
http://www.cricketnext.com/news/why-battle-of-wanderers-will-be-so-special/27090-13.html

It is the stuff that the dreams are made of. There were jokes abound when India and Pakistan were bracketed along with Scotland in Group D, that who the real minnows were!

After all, Scotland had done much better in the 50-over version of the 2007 World Cup compared to India and Pakistan, who had perished even before the real action had started.

All jokes stopped just few days later. After a string of brilliant performances, the two countries, equally passionate about their cricket, are now on the threshold of glory, which not many had imagined before the TWenty20 World Chamionship, started.

There is certain beauty, and bruteness involved in a contest, when India take on Pakistan. Indeed, there are number of reasons to take a flight to Johannesburg.

Unequalled contest:

In terms of sheer intensity, very few rivalries can match a cricketing showdown between these arch-rivals. No inch is taken or given without a fight as nearly two billion of humanity (including expatriates and fans) take out their flags as they cheer or cry for their beloved country.

Mercifully, the hostility has somewhat reduced compared to 80s and 90s, still the pressure is unbearable. And that is the beauty of it.

Divine justice:

Just remember the glum looking faces this March when India and Pakistan prematurely said goodbye to the World Cup.

A captain was sacked, a coach died, and another coach resigned.

Many reputations seemed to have been tarnished beyond redemption. However, in a matter of few months, the Gen Next has avenged insult to the likes of Mohammad Yousuf, Inzamam-ul Haq, and India’s Holy Trinity. For purely the love of seeing this set of marvelous individuals in green and blue, it will be worth a trip.

No one-man Army:

India are not a one-man army. Reputations do not matter any more as system has taken over the individuals. Everyone contributes before and after a huddle!

There has been Robin Uthappa's match saving 50 against Pakistan and then tremendous holding of nerves in the 'bowl out'. And then there has been Dinesh Karthik's mind boggling catch and Rohit Sharma's tremendous run out of Justin Kemp, which showed South Africa that the Indian fielding could match the very best.

Who can forget the roles of our openers, Rohit Sharma’s brilliant batting against South Africa and Yuvraj’s pyrotechnics, which single-handedly demolished Australia.

Even Joginder Sharma, the most underrated of Indian pacers, came up with a brilliant last over last night, when the pressure could have simply killed a lesser man.

Similar things have happened with Pakistan. While Shoaib Akhtar, Shahid Afridi, Mohammad Asif, Umar Gul and Misbah-ul-Haq have been the star performers, the others have done their bit too.

And it will be interesting to see who clicks in the final, and the most important showdown.

Inspirational captains:

There must have been too much of heartburn in the Pakistan team when Shoaib Malik was made captain. It is naïve to expect that the seasoned performers and old pros like Afridi, Shoaib and Mohammad Yousuf will not have felt disappointed for being sidestepped.

Ditto in the Indian team for Mahendra Singh Dhoni. But with each step, the two captains have grown in stature. And the situation is not going to change even after one of them loses the chance to be on the Podium. They are friendly and supportive of their team members, but deadly and destructive when it comes to the opposition.

Aussie slayer:

The entire world imports their coaches, and the same world hates their team’s success. So both India and Pakistan have become the darling of all the Aussie-haters by beating the common enemy once each.

The South Africans too can heave a sigh of relief that the Australians will not be lifting one more trophy on their soil. For once, they can watch the action freed of all the tension. And they must.

A Streak on stake:

Will India keep up their winning streak against Pakistan in world championship tournaments - as streak, which started in Australia 16 years ago. Or will Pakistan finally do what they had threatened to do in the group stage when just one run off last two balls could have broken India’s spell.

That million-dollar question will be answered in the New Wanderers on Monday night amid thousands of cheering supporters holding India and Pakistani flags.

Umpires are going to have a tough time for sure. Faint edges, one fear, will not be heard in the din of a battle, which surely is not going to be for the faint hearted.

THE LONELY SENTINEL

Armored in beige, knighted with a timber ingot
He strolls around;
A metal whistle, his sole tenancy: Ends hot
Ruffled by his vulgar breath.
The coy wooden baton, his sole companion
The midnight owl's hoots, his harmony
Vast arsenic stretches studded with silver petals, his visual symphony
Dry and algid zephyrs his sole source of palpation.
Reclusive, yet not stirred
Obligation to some and yet
the Lonely Sentinel goes about his quotidian commission.

Stuff that Prof.'s teach

Excerpts from the class lectures of mech. professors

"Consider a 3-D cube..... " (as if a cube had 4 dimensions)
- A certain Design Prof.

"The only difference between an ideal cycle and practical cycle is that an ideal cycle is ideal in nature while a practical cycle is practical in nature"
- IC Engine Prof.

∫Smile

The following is what Focuss remarked on Simla while we were at a recent bday bash--

"Dogra's smile can be integrated as it increases only infinitesimally"

A few days back, I came across the following ad of the Deccan Chronicle on Bhaand's blog


AD
BC
two letters can define an era..

I was instantly hit upon by a couple of similarly brilliant ads. A few years back when the anti-smoking campaign was its peak in New York, a NGO had the following as its tag line--
"Kissing a smoker is like licking an ashtray" !!

Another one, which I guess can be found on our LAN under the tag- "Banned Commercials" is probably the most well thought out ad ever. The ad starts of with a diminutive 10yr old trying his best to reach the Coke counter of a soft drinking vending machine.After hajaar fight he finally manages to get one diet coke can. Surprisingly he again puts the same amount of fight to get another coke. Up till this point you get the feel that its ad ad for the Coke group but.... Then the child puts both the cans on the ground and stands atop them so that he could now reach the Pepsi dispensing counter which actually was above the coke counter.!!!!!

Half Empty or Half Full

Last night we were having a heated debate on whether monarchy was a solution to the present turmoils in the political scenario. It stemmed off from an already ongoing debate on which was better -- two party system or multi party which had stemmed off from another debate -- Prathiba Patil vs Kalam. I would be lying if I say we IITians actually intentionally discuss such socially relevant issues. The above was actually an outbreak of topics we love discussing -- headlines on national newz channels that should actually be confined to a masala corner (COMING SOON - a whole blog devoted to such trash), Ekta Kapoor bashing, plagiarised bollywood movies and songs....(in the reverse order of chirography).

Well even though we did not land up at any conclusion I did realize one thing. There's not just a black and white side to everything. There's also the invisible UV region to it. As in there are more than two ways in which each situation can be judged. The right, wrong and the <>. To be more archaic -- We talk about a glass of water being half full or half empty. But what if the life giving water is not water but a transparent solution of memphitic cyanide.

PiQUANT CHESTNUT - III

Last week, students having slogged their ass out for over two years had come over for the IIT-JEE counseling. I started salivating on the mere sight of the plum faced, bespectacled and innocent faces. They seemed easy prey but the only constraint was that I'll have to wait till the start of the session before I could "RAG" them.

In this context, I am reminded of last year's ragging sessions. We called over this freshie, for an "intro" session as we IITians so popularly term it. After the starter course of FAQ's we moved on to the main menu. In the FAQ round, on being asked what 36-24-36 represented he said that they were the dimensions of the new "Fanta Curvy" bottle. We showed him the "DPS RKpuram Scandal" video and inquired of him what the girl was doing in the clip. He replied,"She is eating a chocobar."

P.S :: Do I need to add anything else ?
The guy was aptly named (going by the IITM nomenclature system) FACHO (fanta + chocobar).

CAT VS JEE

It's ridiculous how people even compare CAT to JEE.
JEE's infinitely tougher. You can get up one fine day, brush your teeth, crap and go write CAT and still make it to the IIMs. JEE? Nicest try.

P.S: I read this article on CB's blog and I simply could not help putting it on mine. :D