Job Dila Dey!

Last year around this time I was moaning about the hopeless internship scenario in the Mechanical department which meant that people got placed in sugarcane crushing factories and rice milling centers. We were so pissed off that we almost wrote a letter to the 'Lashkar-e-Toiba' requesting(read begging) them to recruit interns from our department. (:D :D) The rough draft of the letter once adorned my blog but I had to get rid of it on the advice of a few seniors(POTA & W) who petrified me saying that foreign embassies take such issues seriously and I might be denied a UK/US ka Visa for allegedly conspiring with terrorists and passing cryptic messages.[ :)) =))]

A year later, I find myself in a similar situation. And for once its not our H.O.D to blame. This time around we have the 'Global Recession' and the 'App Gumbal'. I am personally not against app junta seating for placements. If I was in their place I would have done the same. No matter how sure you are of getting into MIT or Stan external factors(Visa issues, logistic issues, funding etc. etc.) might still prevent you from going. As such having a back up is by no means an anti-ethical thing to do. Charity begins at home. Save your ass first, only then bother about your department mates. But what I detest is the fact that some junta sit for placements just for the heck of it- Just to show to the world that they are good enough to conquer everything that comes there way - academics, projects, interviews etc.

To cite an example, a certain high CG(CG 9.5+) guy I know of is sure of 'apping' in a non-tech field(making it even easier for him). Last heard, he was applying for 12 Universities, when he could actually pick and choose. Even though his credentials guarantee him a seat in a top university I would not mind if he actually sits for placements even though he himself says that placements are a mere backup.

But here comes the catch - the guy has a PPO of 10+ from a leading FMCG. He is ditching it 'coz he didn't like the work he did during his intern. And he wants to sit for placements, effectively blocking two seats: ripping two candidates of deserved offers. Dude... one is ok.. why two... That he didnt enjoy the work, is in my opinion utter rubbish. Its not as if he is going to work all his life over there. Worst case, if external factors prevent him from 'apping' this year, he will have to work with India's leading FMCG firm for a year. He is surely going to 'app' next year. And I dont think that God can be that cruel that he will deprive him of his deserved seat in Stan/MIT even the second time. I am quite sure this is not an isolated issue. There will be many more. The last date for filing up the PPO form for that FMCG is October end. I hope some sense gets to him.

Teri oonchi shaan hai maula

Meri resume pe zara jhaank le maula

Tu hai sab kuch jaanne waala Main hoon tera maanne waala

Coordship ke liye cores ko chaata hai maula,

Bekar ki credentials bahara hai resume mein mere maula
Mujhko bhi to job dila de
Aath ki nahi to paanch ki dila de.......

Weekends ko pub jaane layak job dila de
Yeh nahin to kuch aur dila de
Mujhko jamnagar mein job dila de , MG street pe job dila de Iraq ke desert mein job dila de, amazon ke jungelon mein job dila de Duniya bhar mein kahin bhi dila de
Kaise kaison ko diya hai
Aise vaison ko diya hai
Mujhko bhi to job dila de


ITC de ya HUL de de -2
Citi de de, Deutsche de
Schlumberger-ya- Halii de de x2
Koi khazana dhoond de maula
Yamraj ke sinhasan ko bej de maula
Ab to recession mein dubi company ko maal de de
Aur na ab tadpa ..
Mujhko bhi to job dila de

Consultancy de ya Banking de de -2
Core de de, IPR de de
CTC ki barsaat kar de

Tune khud hi to kaha hai
Deta hoon jo maangta hai
Saadhe teen saal se banda maang raha hai
Kab se line mein khada hai
Mujhko bhi to job dila de

Teri oonchi shaan hai maula

Meri resume pe zara jhaank le maula

Tu hai sab kuch jaanne waala Main hoon tera maanne waala Mujhko bhi to job dila de

Aath ki nahin to paanch ki dila de...............................

Lehman Kangaal ........ Merrill Lynch Lynched

Just read the latest news regarding Lehman and Merrill Lynch .. And with AIG hanging in the balance you are never sure of the worst.

I found the cartoon on Business Pundit ... Really funny ...

WHAT A GAME !!!


WOLF is addictive... very very addictive.
Last night ... on the eve of the 61st Independence day of India we put a night-out. We played some 3 games spread over a span of 7 hours - (11:30 p.m to 6:30 p.m) before we moved onto Taramani for our morning coffee accompanied by King's.
There is one particular game I wish to talk about. It was the last game of the night. We had some 14 members playing the game - Me, Chittad, Paplu, Pappey, Saffy, DPS, Shortage, Rahul, Manish, Asif(who had celebrated his Independence day a day before), CHB, Sashi, Randi and Nikhil.

We played with 4 wolves[Me, Rahul, Manish and Nikhil], 1 rogue, 1 cop, 1 doc and 1 priest [For the uninitiated - the priest can revive a dead man.... but he can use this power only once].

Night 1 - Wolves kill Chittad. Reason - He thinks too much. And them he did not seem quite interested in the game. Pappey [being the most dangerous] was not killed hoping that this point would go against him. Wolves generally kill Pappey in the first round itself knowing that if he is a villager he can be a real trouble maker.
[I am talking about the game from my point of view and such not revealing the details concerning the doc, rogue,cop and priest .. lest they act as spoilers]
Day 1 - Paplu comes out vehemently against me. Knowing Paplu quite well, I got the feeling that he was the police and he knew my identity. I was almost on the verge of giving up but suddenly Saffy springs up from no where against Manish. Saffy 's reaction was so very convincing that Manish thought Saffy to be the police. Both me and Manish were in a quandary as to who the real police was as to who should go out. Then out of the blue Saffy reveals to the village that I was a villager and he was sure of it [though he did not mention how or why]. On hearing this I thought that Saffy was a rogue or something and I started gathering forces against Manish. That meant Manish(a wolf) was killed. All the wolves voted against Manish going with the herd.

Night 2 - Now that I was sure Paplu was a Cop.. we killed him off.
Day 2 - Some newbies bring the accusation against me saying that I was the wolf since I was the only one who could have killed Paplu as he was against me in the previous round. Pappey jumps to my support saying that I was no novice and would never do that as I very well know that this would be the most fruitful argument against me. He comes up with the idea that someone was doing this to frame me. Now when all doubt over me had been cleared.......... I made a horrendous error [a bulb that bad that I am ashamed to put it] and Pappey caught me off guard..... I was killed. Two wolves dead.

Night 3- Remaining two wolves take the decision that should have been taken much earlier - to kill the dangerous Pappey. As I was outside the game now... I saw that there was no police. Paplu was the real police and we were right in killing him. Doc(CHB) saved himself. Rogue(DPS) did not make his kill.
Day 4 - Nikhil at once comes out with the accusation that Sashi was the rogue saying that he had heard him twist an turn during the night when the Rogue's name was called out. Surprisingly, no one took this much seriously. This round was marked by multiple parallel conversations and no conclusion seemed in sight. Nikhil ... to my shock and to the other wolf's[Rahul] shock revealed to the village that he was the police. Most of the villagers accepted this to be true as no one else came out[Paplu, the real police was already dead] and Nikhil said that he had found out Shortage's, CHB's and Asif's identity. [the villagers never took into consideration the fact that the Wolf knows who all are villagers!]. Asif came out in the open saying that he was the Priest which further convinced people that Nikhil was the cop. The villager first agree that the Priest would revive Pappey. With no surety about anyone's identity, the village decides to kill DPS, the most silent villager. Even the wolves vote against him.[He had never suggested anything close to being a Rogue which would have swayed the wolves. Villagers ask Nikhil, the assumed Cop to find out Rahul's identity[as he had supported me in the previous rounds] and the Doc to save the cop.

Night 5 - Asif, the priest revives Pappey. Wolves kill Asif.[I don't know why!]. Doc saves himself[selfish!]. Rahul waves his hand like a magicians wand during the wolf kill while pointing out Asif. His loose bracelet was a dead give away.
Day 5- Pappey enters the game and proclaims that Nikhil can't be cop for sure for he saw him bulbing. He starts with his typical Pappey-ish style not giving anyone else a chance to talk. This actually gives Nikhil a chance to reconsider his original decision to announce Rahul to be a villager. Nikhil decides to announce Rahul to be a wolf. The delay in his announcement is justified by the fact that Pappey did not give him a chance to talk. With most of the villagers still convinced by Nikhil, they decide to kill Rahul and when he turns out to be wolf everyone including Pappey consider Nikhil to be the cop. They ask Nikhil to find out Randi's identity and the Doc(who has revealed himself by now) to save the cop.

Night 6 - Nikhil kills CHB(thinking that the Doc will save the cop and not himself). Doc saves himslef.[shrewdness or selfishness?]
Day 6- Nikhil reveals that Randi was a villager. Of the remaining, identities of Saffy and Sashi was not known. So the villagers decide to kill the more dangerous Saffy as Sashi was new to the game and he couldn't have kept his cool for so long. Villagers ask Nikhil to find out Sashi's identity.
P.S : Everyone had assumed that Pappey was a villager since he was killed in the night.

Night 7 -Nikhil kills CHB again, sure that there was a low probability that the Doc would save himself again. Doc saves himslef again (!!)
Day 7- Nikhil comes out in the open saying that Sashi was a villager. He virtually gave it up. He later admitted that he was under so much pressure that his mind could not continue further.
Villagers still not sure that Nikhil was not a wolf, decide to kill as everyone else had been proved to be a villager by Nikhil.
Villagers remaining - Pappey, Shortage, Randi, CHB and Sashi.
VILLAGERS WIN!!

Did he have a way out???
I can think two ways by which he could have extended the game further.[though not won it]
1. He should have told that Sashi was a wolf. Kill him in the day. And kill someone in the night. But even then it would have been 3-1 in the day and there was no way he could escape.
2. Pappey's identity was never revealed. He could have generated a hypothesis that Pappey was a wolf who was killed in the night by the rogue. And the priest probably made a mistake by getting him into the game. So instead of finding out Sashi's identity he could have come out with the fact that Pappey was villager. But then villagers would have killed Sashi.... then again 3-1 in the day.
**It would have helped if his last two kills in the night were successful. The game quite well have been over by now with a Wolves Victory.

Any other possible outcomes?

@ RELIANCE

Back in IITM, I did not have a choice. And then after ITC and Schlumberger, Reliance was supposed to be a Mech guy’s best bet. Even if it wasn’t, we (atleast me) did not have the temerity to wait for GE (with all the infinite rumors that the PR’s and the Class rep were spreading) knowing fully well that if it didn’t make it I might well land up at a sugarcane crushing factory or a rice milling center or who knows may be even a fishing outlet. Fortunately or unfortunately I made it. Unlike many for whom it would have been a matter of celebration, for the IITM Mech junta it was a sigh of relief – lucky enough to escape the wrath of someone whose name had everything from SHUNning to MUGging to HAMming

The experience here has been awful to say the least. Reliance is supposed to be a FORTUNE 500 company; India’s largest Petrochemical manufacturer; owned by the world’s 3^rd richest and what not. But once inside the complex you see the real stuff. Nothing truly belongs to Reliance. They just own it. Every single equipment has been outsourced. You can very well call it a SHELL or DUPONT plant and yet not be very far from the truth. There is no RnD. Fuck! These people even buy off RnD from Shell. All that these people have to show for RnD is a bicameral air-conditioned building with infinite computers with no one to use them. All that these people do is maintenance- make sure that Shell, Dupont,Tata and what not machines are in working order. Follow up the troubleshooting manual and incase it does not work out call up the respective companies to send their installation engineers. People in top posts are “Diploma” holders. Part of my intern is actually solving the assignments and home tests for one of the Diploma holders who is appearing for a correspondence B.Tech degree( ! ! ! ) to make sure that his growth is not stalled. And then there are the engineers. They spend all their time playing pocket tanks. They land up here at 9 – wait till 9:30 for the breakfast – play pocket tanks- tea at 11:15 – play pocket tanks - wait for lunch – lunch – play pocket tanks – play more pocket tanks – have tea at 3:15 – play pocket tanks till 4 – start getting ready for the bus that leaves at 5:45 pm.

And then we (MECH junta) have been assigned projects that are nothing more than CUT-COPY-PASTE. The mentors (probably the only knowledgeable guys around) are very busy. One of them spends most of his time at the Shell plant in Amsterdam; another has been on a holiday tour to the US for more than two weeks while another even fails to recognize the student working under him. These guys are really good but my only issue is the mindless objective of assigning them a student when they already have infinite prior engagements. Its not only been the case with the Mechanical Section but even the Meta trainees are undergoing the same.

But the only saving grace have been the Chem. guys. From whatever I have heard and the little I understand they have been allotted projects that are not mere hoodwinkers. Ganesh is actually working on something that might lead to profits in excess of 1crore. And then their mentors actually devote sufficient time to the student projects. May be I am biased that I am overlooking all these factors. Reliance is at the end of the day a chemical industry and as such the major thrust should ideally been on them. And then it is not into design – so the mechanical sector ultimately boils down to maintenance and servicing. From this perspective I believe that this internship is certainly not for people who want to patent the next big mechanical invention but who just wish to make sure that official stand of 2 credits is completed.

PJ CARNIVAL

I am back after a long hiatus. The break was not intentional nor was it forced upon me because of a packed schedule. Its just that I am, as Oscar Wilde would say motivationally challenged(read lazy).
But all my motivation is back thanks to the PJ Carnival we had last night. It started of as a Booze party but with the likes of Pinkee, Pappey and Rahul's new incarnation it turned into a PJ carnival with each one trying to out do the other.

Pinkee - Randi baarish mein kounsa shot khelte hai?
Answer - Cover Drive
FUNDA - When it rains, you want covers on the ground!!

Pappey - Randi baarish khatam hone ke baad kounsa shot khelta hai?
Answer - Pull Shot
FUNDA - When it has stopped raining you have to 'pull' the covers off!
***********************************************************************

Pinkee - Agar Pappey Beer mangta hai to Beer, Pappey se kya mangega?
Answer - Honey
FUNDA - Pappey likes beer and beer (bear) likes honey!

***********************************************************************
Rahul - Agar tum Pappey ko PJ marne ko bolege to woh kya karega?
Answer - Pappey will jump upwards.
FUNDA - Pappey will jump as he will then have velocity(v) in upward direction(j). So he has momentum (P) as his has both mass and velocity and it is in upward direction( y direction ~ j direction). So Pappey has now put a P ĵ.

************************************************************************

Pattrow - Manish jab chicken khata hai junglee ban jata hai.
Saffy - Manish sachi mein pura wildly behave karta hai agar uske aage chicken padi hai.
Manish - Mein koi junglee ki tarah behave nahi karta.....

Pappey - Eggjactly, Chhotu (Pappey calls Manish, Chhotu affectionately) is not wild, Chhotu is not junglee, Chhotu is Mansih. :D

*************************************************************************

Pappey - Agar Chhotu, Chhotu hai to usko chicken ka kounsa item pasand hai.
Answer - Since Chhotu is chhotu, woh sirf CERELAC flavoured chicken khata hai.

*************************************************************************
PJ IN ACTION
This anecdote was narrated by Shaggy

Venue - Electrical Workshop
First Year

The question was to set up a circuit to light a tubelight. Aunty puts hazaar fight, mugs, cogs from notes and cogs from neighbouring students but somehow manages to set up the complete circuit. The circuit seems perfect but the tubelight does not seem to glow. Worried and confused he takes the system to the workshop instructor. The instructor himself starts to BULB. the circuit is perfect but the tubelight does not seem to glow. The instructor fiddles a bit with the starter, re aligns the circuit elements but to no avail. He reads the manuals again and sets the circuit himself but all in vain.
Its only after more than forty minutes that both realize that there is no tubelight to glow. Aunty had forgotten to connect the tubelight. !!!!! :D

*************************************************************************

There were a lot more but cant remember them all. Next time around I drink around with Pinkee and Pappey (and Rahul these days too) i'll carry a tape recorder to make sure that not a single PJ is missed.

IPL: TEAM QUOTIENT

KOLKATTA

A bird in hand is not worth even four in the bush..

Sourav Ganguly (icon), Shoaib Akhtar (US$425,000), Ricky Ponting (US$400,000), Brendon McCullum (US$700,000), Chris Gayle (US$800,000), Ajit Agarkar (US$330,000), David Hussey (US$675,000), Ishant Sharma (US$950,000), Murali Kartik (US$425,000), Umar Gul (US$150,000), Tatenda Taibu (US$125,000)

PRIZE CATCH – Umar Gul. At just 60 lacs it’s a super bargain. He was by far the fast bowler on show at the T20 World Cup. He is one of those rare bowlers who can bowl toe crushing yorkers on a constant basis.

SHOCKER – Ishant Sharma for 4 crores. All that glitters is not gold. Bowling on bowler friendly wickets in Australia with 7 fielders around the bat is vastly different from doing so on dust bowls.

David Hussey. I thought his brother had a Bradmanesque batting average.

+ ive Experienced batting lineup in Ganguly, Gayle and Ponting.

- ive Who’ll bowl? Shoaib and Gul spend more time in the hospital than they do on field. Agarkar is like a balloon. Might burst anytime. Ishant Sharma is still a baby.

IN SHORT On paper they have the most balanced team with the perfect blend of youth and experience provided they are fit and free to take part in the event. You are never sure about the fitness of Akhtar and Gul while Hussey an Ponting may not free to take part.

HYDEREBAD

Slog Slog Bang Bang

Adam Gilchrist (US$700,000), Andrew Symonds (US$1.35 million), Herschelle Gibbs (US$575,000), Shahid Afridi (US$675,000), Scott Styris (US$175,000), VVS Laxman (US$375,000), Rohit Sharma (US$750,000), Chamara Silva (US$100,000), RP Singh (US$875,000), Chaminda Vaas (US$200,000), Nuwan Zoysa (US$110,000)

PRIZE CATCH – Scott Styris. Probably the most underrated player in World Cricket especially when it comes to the shorter versions of the game. He can slog, he can hold one end up and more importantly he can stifle one end up with his variety of medium pace bowling.

SHOCKER – Rohit Sharma for 3 crores. You must be joking!!

+ ive With Andrew Symonds and Herschelle Gibbs you have the world’s two of the best fielders. And then Rohit Sharma and Shahid Afridi are probably the best from their nations.

- ive One dimensional bowling attack with 3 very similar left arm swing bowlers.

IN SHORT In Shahid Khan Afridi, Andrew Symonds, Herschelle Gibbs and Adam Gilchrist you have the four of the biggest hitters in the game of cricket. Get ready for some serious fireworks with the short boundaries in India.

BANGALORE ROYAL CHALLENGERS

“Get Well Soon : Prepared to face a nuclear attack with a bullet proof vest

Rahul Dravid (icon), Anil Kumble (US$500,000), Jacques Kallis (US$900,000), Zaheer Khan (US$450,000), Mark Boucher (US$450,000), Cameron White (US$500,000), Wasim Jaffer (US$150,000), Dale Steyn (US$325,000), Nathan Bracken (US$325,000), Shivnarine Chanderpaul (US$200,000)

PRIZE CATCH – Dale Steyn. He is as most former South African’s believe the true heir to Allan Donald’s legacy. Not very cheap but certainly do-able.

SHOCKER – Cameron WHO White? I thought he played Golf!!

+ ive Excellent bowling lineup with the most variety. You have someone with the raw pace of Steyn aided by the swing of Zaheer and accuracy of Bracken. By the way you have a 38 something Kumble aswell.

- ive Wasim Jaffer, Rahul Dravid, Jacques Kallis, Chanderpaul.. Dude, you are not playing a 5 day test… You might take a short nap while they are batting and still not miss much action. Seems they are taking “Gandhigiri” just a bit too seriously; a totally non violent approach to batting.

IN SHORT The most experienced team on paper though it is to be seen if their experience in the longer versions of the game can translate into the T20 format.

MUMBAI

The pendulum swinging between its extremes.

Sachin Tendulkar (icon), Sanath Jayasuriya (US$975,000), Harbhajan Singh (US$850,000), Shaun Pollock (US$550,000), Robin Uthappa (US$800,000), Lasith Malinga (US$350,000), Dilhara Fernando (US$150,000), Loots Bosman (US$175,000)

PRIZE CATCH – Loots Bosman. He is very highly rated in his home country in South Africa. A T20 specialist, he certainly can clobber the ball a mile. He might just turn out to be the surprise hit.

SHOCKER – Robin Uthappa for 3.6 crores. You can’t be serious. All that he has to show for himself in the two seasons that he has played is one innings against England.

+ ive Sachin Tendulkar and Sanath Jayasuriya opening the innings is any opposition captains nightmare. They may be past their prime but still are good enough to give tremors to new ball bowlers as they have nothing to loose. And then they have the world’s most economical bowler in Shaun Pollock.

- ive No wicket keeper as of now. Unless they get a Haddin or a Matt Prior they might just have to do with a domestic keeper. It doesn’t look that rosy with the top 3 Indian keepers already sold out.

IN SHORT It’s a very strange team combination. You have grandfathers like Tendulkar, Pollock and Jayasuriya on one hand and then lollypop babies like Bosman, Utthappa and Malinga on the other. You have members from the X Gen and V Gen. Just get a feeling they might rue missing out on the W Gen.

DELHI DAREDEVILS

Little drops make an ocean.

Virender Sehwag (icon), Daniel Vettori (US$625,000), Shoaib Malik (US$500,000), Mohammad Asif (US$650,000), AB de Villiers (US$300,000), Dinesh Karthik (US$525,000), Farveez Maharoof (US$225,000), Tillakaratne Dilshan (US$250,000), Manoj Tiwary (US$675,000), Gautam Gambhir (US$725,000), Glenn McGrath (US$350,000)

PRIZE CATCH – AB De Villiers. It’s a steal. At 1.2 crores you are getting South Africa’s future captain. And then his ability to keep will also let the team field an extra bowler or batsman.

SHOCKER – Manoj Tiwary for 2.7 crores. He’s played just one international that too for a duck.

+ ive In Mohammed Asif, Mc Grath and Vettori you have the most economical bowlers in the fray. Add to that the fielding prowess of Dilshan, Tiwary, Karthick and De Villiers. A very difficult team to score against.

- ive The batting does not inspire much confidence. No fire power; no star power. The team might even struggle to attract sponsors in the tune that most others teams would.

IN SHORT It’s the bowlers who will have to job. The batting though might just surprise a few people. The team reminds one of NewZealand at the international level – not too many stars but still a very competitive outfit. But you need a very inspirational captain who leads from the front.

CHENNAI SUPER KINGS

Dhoom Machale Dhoom Machale

Mahendra Singh Dhoni (US$1.5 million), Muttiah Muralitharan (US$600,000), Matthew Hayden (US$375,000), Jacob Oram (US$675,000), Stephen Fleming (US$350,000), Parthiv Patel (US$325,000), Joginder Sharma (US$225,000), Albie Morkel (US$675,000), Suresh Raina (US$650,000), Makhaya Ntini (US$200,000), Michael Hussey (US$350,000)

PRIZE CATCH – Stephen Fleming. The world’s best captain will be a perfect ally to the shrewd Dhoni. And he is the best person to give stability to the fragile looking middle order.

SHOCKER – ?

+ ive MS Dhoni. Captain courageous, capable of ripping the leather of the bowl aswell as holding one end up.

- ive MS Dhoni. Too costly.

IN SHORT All’s well as long as Dhoom does not turn into Doom.

JAIPUR

Too many cooks spoil the broth

Shane Warne (US$450,000), Graeme Smith (US$475,000), Younis Khan (US$225,000), Kamran Akmal (US$150,000), Yusuf Pathan (US$475,000), Mohammad Kaif (US$675,000), Munaf Patel (US$275,000), Justin Langer (US$200,000)

PRIZE CATCH – Kamran Akmal. He may not be in the best of forms but he still rates among the top 5 wicket keeper batsmen of his generation.

SHOCKER – Kaif. The price tag is too much for a player who can’t get the ball of the square. T20 isnt just about sprinting between wickets.

+ ive Graeme Smith is certainly one of the best captains doing the rounds. And most believe Warne was the true heir to Waugh till sleazy SMS’ did him in while Younis Khan preferred not to. And with Greg Chappell too around be rest assured that the best strategies would have their source here lest too many cooks spoil the broth.

- ive With Warne, Langer and Munaf Patel on the field don’t surprised if you see two’s turning into four’s and may be even five’s.

IN SHORT No comments.

MOHALI

History to repeat itself

Yuvraj Singh (icon), Mahela Jayawardene (US$475,000), Kumar Sangakkara (US$700,000), Brett Lee (US$900,000), Sreesanth (US$625,000), Irfan Pathan (US$925,000), Ramesh Powar (US$170,000), Piyush Chawla (US$400,000), Simon Katich (US$200,000), Ramnaresh Sarwan (US$225,000)

PRIZE CATCH – ?

SHOCKER – ?

Pretty balanced selections without any outright cockeyed selection.

+ ive With Moody at the helm, the 2007 WC success story might just repeat with Sangakkara and Jayawardena too in the team.

- ive With just Yuvraj, they are desperately falling short of some who get the ball out of the park. And if Brett Lee is missing the inexperience in the bowling department may hurt real bad.

IN SHORT Pretty balanced on the whole but the bowling holds the key. If Lee and Sreesanth are able to rip through the top order then the inexperienced spinners might be able to hold their own. And with Lee and Sreesanth sharing the new ball, batsmen be prepared to deal with sledging or as Aussies term it “mental disintegration”.

Rain Drops Down the Melody Lane

Brushed away did I that look at first glance
For I doth not believe in love at first sight;
Her whites, all wet, seduced me into a trance.
As the skies wept, dreamt I none but her all night.

Wet, sanguine and all black
Swayed I from my track
At her feet, did I bend and whispered , 'Shall we dance?'
Rain drops down the melody lane
Across the dark firmament, lightning did strike again
Accepted my plea, did she, with a placid display of romance.

An assassin's smile
Flowing robes, all black and all long.
Lustrous, silver plated earrings, carved by the phyle.
Ogled I to the fullest............................................


P.S - Dedicated to that someone special in my life

SAARANG UNQUOTED

" जब "ट" से कोई गाना ख़त्म नही होता, तो "ट" से कोई गाना शुरू कैसे हो सकता है !! "
-- Antakshari Coord on being asked to sing a song starting with "ट"

" Sumedh Samant और Kuldeep Nigam देहाती हैं ! ....................................... "
-- Punchar

" Well ...
We need more time.... " -- Hot chicks to Punchar on being asked for the dance workshop

" If you have any queries, come over here"
-- Punchar, sitting inside the Hospi desk, to a group of hot chicks inquiring about the day's proceedings from a hospi vol. The group eventually move around the hospi platform and get their doubts cleared from Punchar inside the Hospi desk.

" Ek Reddy ne pure wing ka ch***ya kaat diya "
-- Chittad Singh after CHB lures him into shelling out grub coupons worth Rs. 300(originally meant for our wing) to gratify his dance partner for Salsa, who herself was getting was grub coupons worth Rs. 300 as a volunteer.

" Now I know why I didn't clear IIT-JEE"
-- Non-IITian chick's comment at the Queen Of Sheeba event. On being asked as to how they cracked the Schroder Series problem(as it was not Google-able. Google led you to some vague article on divergent analytical functions published in 1942 by Carl Siegel), the Narmad team of SDK, Gully and Raj responded with
-- "We got the generating function of the Schroeder Series from Siegel's article and wrote a C program to evaluate it. We debugged and compiled it and ran it on Turbo C to generate the infinite series. The 9th term turns out to be 14586 ... "

"Come here and press 4"
-- A female Hospi Coord to her vol with her left hand on Alt and right hand on F when a co-coord asked her to press Alt+F4 to close the window she was working on.


" It was an "Anagram Fest" " -- Fockkus @ WTGW prelims.

"Pinkee (Hospi Core) सुट्टे के लिए भूका भी मर सकता है " -- Homework, after Pinkee gives all his grub coupons in exchange for Fags.

" Seems the coords are themselves planning a homicide. They are just arranging for a plebiscite to determine their modus operandi " -- A participant from NIT, Trichy on seeing the CLUEDO prelims question paper which had 5 murder mysteries.

LES PROPHETIES

I am no Nostradamus, but here I have made a sincere attempt with a closed mind enveloped by an exaggerated sense of sarcasm to predict the fortunes (read misfortunes) of Team India and the BCCI in the year to follow.


Quarantine II -- FEBRUARY/MARCH

• Sourav Ganguly injected back into the ODI team after the CPI (M) threaten to withdraw support from the central government.
• Sreesanth is a hit with the Australian media. After displaying his dancing skills to Andre Nel and tabla skills to Mathew Hayden in the past he displays his vocal talent Andrew Symonds.
• Yuvraj Singh backs out of the tour citing personal reasons.
• After Harbhajan Singh, Sreesanth gets into trouble for racially abusing Symonds during the ODI series.
• BCCI threaten to boycott the tour.
• Tour continues after apologies from Cricket Australia. Further, BCCI file a writ against Symonds for public defamation (of Sreesanth) in the Supreme Court of India and team India is given a bye to the tri-nation finals.
• The ICC all this while remains a mute spectator not being able to go against the richest cricket board in the world.
• India lose the finals as Sachin Tendulkar fails again in the finals but wins the man of the series award by virtue of the three 90+ scores he made in the leagues.
• India receive heroes welcome after a successful tour of Australia where they won just one test and a couple of one-dayers.

Quarantine III -- APRIL/MAY

• Leaked Email from M S Dhoni to the BCCI President reveals that Yuvraj Singh backed out of the tour to go on a holiday with Deepika Padukone to NewZealand.
• Yuvraj Singh goes public with his version of the story saying that he did go to NewZealand but argues that it was mere coincidence that Deepika Padukone had her shooting there. The real reason according to him was that he was being used by the NewZealand Cricket Board as a mediator to convince Shane Bond to leave ICL. He further adds that Dhoni was a loser and created this issue because he was jealous of his relationship with Deepika Padukone.
• NewZealand Cricket Board deny any such arrangements though Shane Bond makes a contradictory statement that Yuvraj Singh had in fact met him in March.
• In between all this, Gary Kirsten rejects the contract by the BCCI saying Indian summers are too hot and not conducive to his methodology of coaching.
• BCCI go in search of a new coach.

Quarantine IV – JUNE/JULY

• In a bid to take advantage of the publicity generated and increase TRP for his show, Shahrukh invites the trio, (Deepika, Dhoni and Yuvraj) to KBC. The trio win 50 lacs inspite of the acrimony between Yuvraj and Dhoni.
• Rumour mills go abuzz with the news that Yuvraj and Deepika get engaged in a private ceremony. Both vehemently deny the allegations stating that they are just “good friends”
• Irfan Pathan spotted cheering for Sania Mirza at the Wimbledon.
• BCCI announces the names of applicants for the post of coach. The list includes former cricketers Wasim Akram and Steve Waugh as well as leading personalities like management guru Laloo Prasad Yadav, technocrat Prof MS Shanmugham (HOD, Mech – IITM), Vijay Mallya and cricket expert Sumedh Yateen Samant.
• The Pakistani Government brand Wasim Akram a traitor for applying for the post of coach of the Indian Cricket team. The Al-Qaeda release fatwa against Wasim Akram for savoring relationship with an US friendly nation.
• MS Dhoni attempts suicide. Admitted to ICU. Suicide note reveals it was due to the stress of excessive cricket. BCCI revises cricket calendar to reduce work load. Conspiracy theorists argue that it was because of “love lost”.
• IPL postponed to 2009 due to crammed cricket calendar.
• With Dhoni hospitalized and Yuvraj finding disfavour with the selection committee for his wayward ways, Irfan Pathan is appointed captain of the Indian ODI team for the upcoming series against Australia.

Quarantine V – AUGUST/SEPTEMBER/OCTOBER

• Team for Australia series declared. No surprises but for Dhoni and Yuvraj’s absence. Team to play without a coach.
• India thrash Australia 3-0 on minefields of pitches doctored to suit Indian spinners. Anil Kumble and Harbhajan take 21 wickets each in the series while Tendulkar takes 12 bowling his part time leg spinners. The man of the series award goes to Australian left arm spinner Michael Clarke for taking 28 wickets in the series.
• Harbhajan dismisses Ricky Ponting in 5 of the 6 innings.
• Dravid and Ganguly announce retirement. Tendulkar says he still feels young and is ready to play as a third spinner after experts criticize his poor batting form.
• CPI (M) and Trinamool Congress demand Bharat Ratna for Ganguly.

Quarantine V – NOVEMBER/DECEMBER

• Mahesh Bhatt’s movie “HAWAS – the only passion” starring Shoaib Akhtar releases to packed theatres through out India on Diwali. It firmly establishes Shoaib Akhtar as the new “SERIAL F***ER” of Bollywood. The movie bombs despite the superb opening; but it opens new avenues for Pakistani cricketers. Reports reveal that Inzamam Ul Haq has been offered the role of Kajol’s father in KJo’s next while Misbah is set to play a bulbing sycophant in a RGV movie.
• BCCI appoint Ganguly and Dravid as the ODI and Test batting coaches respectively. They join the team of Robin Singh (fielding) and Venkatesh Prasad (bowling) and manager Lalchand Rajput.

• India thrash South Africa on slow dirty dust bowls engineered to suit the Indian spin trio of Kumble, Harbhajan and Tendulkar who share four fifths of all the wickets among them.

P.S :: Additional predictions are welcome.